Chewy Drank the Water – Stupid Chewy


There are some places that should come with a warning label. Luckily, some places do by reputation alone for being a bastion of debauchery and questionable living conditions. Unfortunately, if you think yourself invincible and not subject to the rules of mortal men, like this guy here, well… you pretty much get what’s coming to you.

I enjoy not being afraid…

I was with a buddy of mine in Bangkok and we decided since we were both at the time in possession of more than reasonable means, we would not stay in a place where we feared for our safety and what dignity we had between us. Call me a snob or whatever you want… I had a sweet hotel right downtown for like $40 a night. I think he found the deal on Expedia before we left – who am I to argue? Let the good times roll!

So we went down to the local food store, which was right across from our hotel, and loaded up on some Tiger beer and a few Heineken for the road. Our room had a fridge so we took it up to the room to stay cool while we returned to the grocery store for dinner. The beautiful thing about many big grocery stores in Bangkok is they also have a dynamite restaurant attached. We were told by a local that it was some of the best food you could find and we couldn’t have agreed more. Giant meals with more flavour than your taste buds know what to do with for under $2. Tom yum kun that was second to none, a pad thai that has not been surpassed to this day… needless to say we ate here almost every day.

The one thing I didn’t do was drink the water they served with out meal because Bangkok just seemed like one of those places where ‘don’t drink the water’ was on the coat of arms. Instead I washed my delicious meal down each night with an equally refreshing beer and drank only bottled water. No parasites were going to keep Chewy down!

Except for that particular night, when they did.

So delicious… not so good on the way out though…

Without even thinking, I drank the water. It wasn’t even that much – but it was probably more than enough to do what it needed to do. My buddy even realized it and got a little concerned. I laughed it off, like Superman with bullets bouncing off his chest. After all, we were going to get wasted tonight and wander the streets – nothing was going to keep me from doing that.

Well it was only a few hours later back in our room when, thankfully, the effects hit. I had been fortunate not to suffer from intestinal unpleasantness while travelling up until that point, so naturally I had no point of reference and would likely have made fun of anyone in a similar position. Let’s just say that is no longer the case and I probably shouldn’t have had the spicy pad thai that night.

See, you’d think this would’ve been the culprit…

As can be expected, I stayed in that night, on the toilet, as my bowels applied multiple coats of curried spackle to the poor porcelain throne I sat upon. It was after that night that I came to a realization – I would not have been in this mess if I had’ve stuck with beer. Never again will I make that mistake. Stupid water… what are you even good for?

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